Pre Op

Tomorrow we are heading in for Isabelle’s pre-op. This one is for her cath which will take place on thursday. The one for the Stage 2 surgery is Friday. After months of washing hands, staying away from gatherings and trying to keep ourselves germ free, I found myself sick with a nasty cough the past few days. Every time she sneezed I panicked. Every time she coughed my heart stopped. No one knows what this is like- feeling like you could have unleashed a potentially fatal virus onto your baby’s fragile system.

I am breathing easier tonight for a variety of reasons. One is that the antibiotic appears to be working and I am feeling much better. Another is that tomorrow marks the beginning of the end of the Interstage Hell we have been living in for the past 5 months. Days of weighing, monitoring oxygen levels, visiting nurses and weekly phone calls checking in are soon to be over. Things may finally get….normal. 

I have heard of this elusive land of normalcy post-Glenn surgery. Part of me is scared because I am used to the scales, pulse ox machines and constant tracking. It is familiar. After this next step we have a long while to wait. A whole year before we are back preparing for another pre-op. 

So far, she has not picked up the horrific virus I had this past weekend. I am truly grateful that God has found some mercy in that. Still pissed at Him, wish he would stop messing with me but that is a conversation for another day. I just want us to make it to the next step. We have struggled and sacrificed a lot to get here. Isabelle has fought hard to get here. Fought the endless burning of calories that prevented her to grow, fought against the NG tubes, the various  ER visits and surprise inpatients. 

As of tomorrow, we made it. We made it to the cath, we will find out her heart function, pressures and whether she grew some collaterals in the process of putting that delicious chubby face on. I am looking forward to the beginning of the end, as much as I hate change, this will be good.