The Heart Clique

Now I have really done it. Not sure what, but it must have been something to convince a large amount of people to not respond to ANYTHING I write to them. Words of encouragement, liking their photos and comments supporting them while their child has been inpatient. For the past year I have relied on support from other mothers whose children have a CHD. Support that has meant a great deal to me.

I know I should be in bed right now but I am angry. I am angry and hurt. It hurts me to constantly try to reach my hand out and get it slapped by other mothers whose children have the same condition as mine. Can’t we all just get along? No? 

You know, maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s my comments about feeling alienated by all the christian themes in posts on some of these pages. Maybe I just don’t belong in this group. Maybe, I am putting far too much stock into a group of women who are human like everyone else. Whatever it is, it still hurts when I try to connect with someone oiut of genuine feeling, and be ignored. Constantly. Especially when it is someone I have been following since I signed onto this goddamn page a year ago. 

Yes, I get frustrated when I feel that people think I don’t care about life. I don’t appreciate the anti-vaccination peeps not caring that they infect the general population. I also am not shy when it comes to how much I love our hospital. That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about what our children are going through, or what other parents are going through sitting at their childs bedside in an ICU. 

I am tired of feeling like I can;t even belong in a group with moms like me- moms who have a child with a life-threatening condition that there isn’t a cure for. Brash, blunt, too forward? Yes, that is me. But I still care, even if you don’t.