Lacing up.

For those of you who don’t know, I am participating on the Miles for Miracles team for Boston Children’s Hospital running the NYC Marathon in November. I have goal of $3,000 to raise. I am hoping to have $500 by Aug 5th, but that seems like a lofty goal after checking my fundraising page. Overwhelmed doesn’t come close to describing how I feel right now, especially since my credit card will be charged the $500 because I haven’t made my deadline.

So far I have had $0 donations. That’s it. Goose egg. It’s my own fault, really.

I’m not as aggressive this time around but that will change. I have had other things that I am trying to balance in addition to training for 26.2 miles and going forward I need to come up with some strategies for fundraising. I know people have donated to all different charities on GoFundMe, PMC Challenges, and other causes. I appreciate others’ hard work in their fundraising efforts. It’s just disappointing when I look at mine.

This blog is for me to express myself and perhaps I am shooting myself in the foot by voicing my disappointment in the fact that I have nothing. Here is what my page has said to me today: It makes the people who told me I was crazy to do this fundraiser right. It validates the expressed concern over why on earth would I run a marathon and try to raise an additional $3,000 total towards Boston Childrens. In spite of allowing my shoulders to cave in a little with my deep sigh, it doesn’t deter me from continuing on moving forward.

Ok sure, so no one has donated anything yet. Yet. I have big plans for the fall when she is post fontan and I am a little more focused. With each mile I run I become one step closer to Staten Island and that is important to me. Running this marathon, after years of saying “I wish I could run a marathon” is huge. This is a huge moment for me as a person, as the mother of a chronically ill child, and as a runner. This is a really big deal to someone who first laced up her sneakers in 1997 to run a 5K with a friend and decided at Mile 2 that this is what she wanted to do for life. I quit smoking that day and bought a pair of Nikes that evening. I haven’t looked back since.

Running has allowed me to get through many difficulties in my life. To me, it is a metaphor for life’s challenges. You get out what you put into it. Same thing with this event. I will get out what I put into it and frankly, I need to put more into it. I know this. When I ran my first half I didn’t train very well. I thought I did, but when I followed a training plan for the second one, I noticed a huge difference in how I felt at the end. Amazing. Like I accomplished something I never thought I could do. I can’t wait to have that feeling again as I cross the finish line- hobbling, running or crawling. I will never forget telling  Isabelle’s namesake that I had run my first half marathon and his response was “Why didn’t you run a whole one?” I will be wearing one of his track medals in November.

This training has been hard. Last night I ran an ‘easy’ three miles but I pushed myself anyway by increasing speed and effort. My heart pounded and I struggled to  maintain my breath with each step. As I tried to catch my breath I reminded myself that this is how Izzie feels every single day. I call it putting myself in her shoes because it is the only time I can feel what she feels. Every day she embraces life with all her half of a heart. She hasn’t slowed down yet, and shows no signs of her illness other than her grayish-purple lips. I watch her try to keep up with her sister and I love watching the excitement in her eyes as she runs after her. “I run!” she yells with a big smile on those purple lips. You can’t help but smile back. Her joy in spite of what she has already been through and will be going through this September amazes me.

The link to my fundraising page is below. If you have an extra $20 (or anything for that matter) please consider donating to a hospital that has helped so many children- not just mine. Thank you as always for reading.

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